


my words are as timed as the beating in my chest

by beatosuffers



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabbles, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2020-09-24 03:08:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20351377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beatosuffers/pseuds/beatosuffers
Summary: second: love could never wear out.----a collection of wenrene drabbles.





	1. go ahead and rip my heart out if that's what love is all about

Irene loves playing games. Everyone, especially Wendy, knows that. Wendy knows how competitive Irene can get, knows how Irene won't stop until she won and prove to everyone involved that she's the game queen, as she and their friends love to call her.

And as always, Wendy found it adorable. The fierceness behind those eyes never fails to captivate Wendy, and it's what drew her into Irene in the first place.

  
How those eyes feel like Irene has the galaxy within her, that Wendy gets so easily lost in them. How those eyes could flicker so many emotions within a second that Wendy would know what Irene is thinking or feeling-- that Wendy told Irene she's like an open book to her, with the older girl shaking her head and saying she's not, not really.

  
And Wendy just smiled and said, "Even if you're the hardest book to read, you'd always be my favorite."

  
Irene would laugh, and call her cheesy, and Wendy would just look at those eyes that hold so much mirth, and bask in the sound of that laugh that would put Angels singing to shame.

  
Those were the simpler times.

  
Times when they weren't knowingly playing this push and pull game, that Irene seems to love, and the game Wendy hates the most.

  
\---

Wendy thought she knew love. Once knew? Or should have known? She doesn't even know what tense to use anymore.

  
She thought she knew it whenever she'd look at her parents. Of how it's been years since they've met, years since they've made their vows, and yet, when Wendy looks at them, they look like those young couples she'd see in those movies, movies wherein it'd show how love can bloom, whether be it with just in the first sight or in the first touch, how those lovesick teenagers in those type of movies, still perfectly mirrors how her parents are.

  
How there's still so much love in their eyes whenever they look at each other, how her father would still find different ways to surprise her mother when he'd come home from work, and how her mother could never find it tiring to still be tying her father's tie after having done it for so many mornings.

  
To Wendy, that's what love is.

  
And she always hoped that one day she'd find something like that too.

  
\---

Now, she thought she did.

  
She thought she found it in the form of Bae Joo Hyun or Irene, as her stage name goes.

  
Wendy thought she found it when Irene stayed up all night just to accompany her-- to listen to her belt out "Shine on me," over, and over again.

  
She thought she found it whenever Irene would clutch onto her for warmth, and oh how she feels the electricity flowing through Irene's touch whenever she'd find a home in Wendy's arm.

  
She thought she found it, whenever she cracks a joke or does something ridiculous, there's always Irene's laugh that reassures her.

  
She thought she found it within Irene's eyes, that when Wendy looks at it, Irene looked like she'd be so willing to give the world to Wendy, and it never fails to make Wendy's breath hitch and have her chest feel like it's blooming flowers.

  
Wendy thought she found love in Irene.

  
And she hoped Irene found love in her too.

  
But then, the older girl would do something that makes Wendy feel like she's reading everything wrong.

\---

  
Wendy doesn't know when it started. Who initiated it, who made the first move, and who let it continue.

  
She doesn't know when did their nights start to become passionate. Doesn't know who leaned in first and whose hands started making its way to other places.

  
She doesn't know whether she's the one to blame or Irene.

  
(But Wendy knows she could never really blame the older girl.)

  
She doesn't know what they're doing anymore.

  
With Irene making love to her at night, confessing everything to Wendy with her kisses, with the way her fingers would trail every inch of Wendy's body that makes Wendy think, that, yes, this is what love is.  
But when the first few signs of the sun about to come up, Irene leaves as if nothing happened, goes on with her day as if they're the same people from years ago, as if they're just members of a girl group and not two lovers stuck in a horrible world of flashing lights and eyes everywhere.

  
Lovers.

  
Wendy thinks it's a stretch to call them that.

  
Not when they're only that when it's in between the sheets.

  
But sometimes, Irene does something that makes Wendy feel like they are, shows her what love is.

  
It's the little things.

  
How she'd catch Irene looking at her as if she's the most precious jewel in the world.

  
How Irene is always there to protect her from their evil (playful) maknae line.

  
How Irene knows every single thing about her and is proud to show it off.

  
How Irene would always intertwine their hands even though they don't need to.

  
How Irene would willingly listen to her ramble on with just about everything, how she's listening, taking in every word Wendy says and how she enjoys Wendy just talking.

  
Small moments that's enough to make Wendy's heart burst-- enough to make Wendy forget that they just can't be.

  
Not right now.

  
So when Wendy caved and told Irene those three words, everything suddenly fell apart.

  
Irene just smiled at her-- the kind of smile that makes Wendy's heart ache because it does not reach Irene's eyes, the kind of smile that's just broken.

  
And Wendy thinks of how it could be. How can a smile-- an action that's meant to portray happiness look so broken?

  
"Seungwan-ah, you know I can't say it back. Not now."

  
So Wendy like always, just nodded, and said, "It's alright, I can wait."

  
So she waits.

  
And they've started playing the game ever since.

  
\---

  
Wendy thought she knew what love was.

  
Scratch that, she does know what love is.

  
It's heartache, it's pain.

  
It's Bae Joohyun ripping her heart out.

  
Love is the taste of Joohyun's skin at night

  
Love is the way how Joohyun looks at her at night.

  
Love is remembering the way their body molds together at night.

  
Love is knowing all the songs that can make Joohyun cry.

  
Love is Irene screaming.

  
Love is the way they fight.

  
Love is the way Irene would tell her she's crazy.

  
Love is the way Wendy would laugh right after.

  
Love is how Irene would pretend she's mad.

  
Love is how Irene would kiss her still.

  
Love may not all be what Wendy thought it was, but it's okay.

  
Not everyone is given a happy beginning.

She just hopes it'd be a happy end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this would be my wenrene drabble dump fic.
> 
> just some writing exercises before i feel like going back to actually write /something/.
> 
> feel free to send me prompts or anything.
> 
> twitter: ultsvlvt  
aff: bubblywannie


	2. cause there's faith in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love could never wear out.

For some, saying “I love you” constantly can wear it out, and the person who says it too often will slowly lose the touch those three words once held and how the receiver of it can feel it being too mechanical--to redundant.    
  


But for Irene, no matter how many times Wendy says it, it just never gets old-- it never loses its touch, and how those three words could never fail to make her face heat up and her heart burst out of her chest, for Wendy says it with so much passion. No matter how casual the blonde says it, Irene can feel the intensity behind those words through those expressive brown eyes and even though they’ve been together for years, have said those words way too many times, the tip of Wendy’s ears still gets so red as if it was her first time saying it to Irene again.

(And Irene swears she’s falling in love with Wendy all over again every time.)

She loves it, she loves hearing those three words come out of those soft lips no matter how many times, and what it means could never fade for Wendy just doesn’t say it.

  
Because there are plenty of ways to convey those three words without having to say it.   
  


Like how Wendy would always quietly pick out the things Irene doesn’t like to eat on her plate and transfers it to hers without Irene having to ask Wendy to eat it for her.

How Wendy would always make sure to bring out an extra scarf or a coat because Irene gets cold easily but doesn’t really check out weather and or temperature before going out. (But most of the time it gets unused because Wendy's arms around her is warmer.)

Wendy knowing Irene’s entire schedule just so Wendy could arrange her own schedule to fit with Irene’s so they can enjoy lunch dates and or Wendy visiting her at work every other day. 

And Wendy holding Irene’s hand so tight whenever they’d pass by huge crowds because the younger girl knows how Irene doesn’t like crowds-- for Wendy knows all of Irene’s anxieties and fears.

It’s these little things that screams those three words, little gestures that make Irene’s heart swell, and these are enough, more than enough, that Wendy doesn’t really even need to say those three words anymore but she still does.

And whenever Wendy whispers “I love you,” Irene hopes that Wendy can feel and see the same amount of intensity from her when she says it back.

(Irene thinks Wendy deserves more than just love, if only there’s something far greater than it, but for now it’ll do.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a warm-up to try and get back into writing because work is killing me and seeing all my drafts at google docs is making me sad.


End file.
